|
Taxation
WITH representation
isn't so hot, either!
|
Depression is merely anger
without enthusiasm |
|
If you can read
this
I can hit my brakes and sue you |
Drink
'til she's cute,
but stop before the wedding |
|
Your child may be an honor student
but you're still an idiot |
Save the whales!
Trade them for valuable prizes
|
|
Don't Drink &
Drive
you might hit a bump and spill your drink |
I
drive way too fast
to worry about cholesterol |
|
If you drink, don't park.
Accidents cause people |
If we are what we eat
I'm cheap, fast, and easy |
|
Stop repeat offenders
Don't re-elect them! |
Madness takes its toll
Please have exact change |
|
Eagles
may soar
but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines |
EARTH FIRST!
We'll strip mine the other planets later |
|
Join the army.
meet interesting people and then kill them |
I couldn't repair my brakes,
so I just made my horn louder |
|
Boycott shampoo!
Demand the REAL poo! |
I Owe, I owe
So Off to Work I Go |
|
I tried sniffing Coke once,
but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose |
Support bacteria
they're the only culture some people have |
|
My wife keeps complaining
I never listen to her
... or something like that |
When
everything's coming your way
you are in the wrong lane |
|
Who were the beta testers
for Preparations A through G? |
God is my co-pilot,
but the Devil is my bombardier |
|
I almost had a psychic girlfriend
but she left me before we met |
If Mama Ain't Happy
Ain't Nobody Happy |
|
The Light at the
end of the Tunnel
Is an Oncoming Train |
I love
defenseless animals
especially in a good gravy |
|
Alcohol and calculus
don't mix.
Never drink and derive |
What
happens
if you get scared half to death twice? |
|
The Early Bird gets the worm,
but the Second Mouse gets the Cheese |
I intend to live forever
so far, so good |
|
If you can read it in English - Thank a Veteran |
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? |
|
Who is General Failure
and why is he reading my hard disk? |
I
poured Spot remover on my dog now he's gone |
|
Why do psychics have to ask you
for your name? |
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out |
| Black holes are where God divided by zero |
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? |
|
Ask Yourself...
What would Al Gore do? |
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark |
|
I got my new Truck and Camper
She got the house and kids |